I’m glad I finished college for several reasons, other than not having any more money. Well, I didn’t really have any to begin with…
The biggest reason being that I am glad I never have to hear again, “What are you doing after college?”
When Spring semester hit, and walking the line drew closer, I knew I had to do something I would only attempt under onerous circumstances: I fasted.
It’s not that I expected God to move right away, or to thunder down from heaven with a geographic coordinate. I just kind of wanted to sift through a few of the options, maybe decide which city I would be in first. I had this picture about the situation: life after college was like walking through a long hall. A long, dark hall. And I’m blindfolded. My task was to open the door but it had to be the right door.
How did I know which one to choose? I had to listen.
Near lunch that day instead of having some lunch at the Bookie, Washington State University’s bookstore, I headed there to sit in a quiet corner and do my devotion, hoping it would be distracting enough from the hunger pains too.
There was a celebratory atmosphere near the bookstore (it was a college campus, so there’s a reason to celebrate on, say, a Tuesday). The Bookie was a hub of activity on campus, and a prime location for organizations to promote their events and clubs. Now, I either never payed close enough attention or I could have sworn this was the first time I had ever witnessed something like this. An off campus apartment complex sent a team of students to recruit tenants for the fall semester, and on this day in particular they brought more than just lease agreements and free pens to entice applicants.
So as I unwittingly headed toward the Bookie, I ran into the enthusiastic group of young salespeople who were hustling more than a free t shirt.
Free hot dogs.
Let me just say I love free things. I get excited when I hear radio announcements that free hot dogs will be served at local car dealerships. And remember, as a college student a free meal is a valuable opportunity that you don’t pass up.
Picture the scene in slow motion: I am walking toward the bookstore, and what do I see out the corner of my eye? A giant steaming bin. I catch a whiff of a very distinct aroma. Within two seconds my mind goes through a process like so: “Oooh! A free hot dog! I need one!” But immediately my mind flashes back to the fast I have voluntarily put myself on. I think, “Well, maybe I could fast tomorrow?”, and all this time I don’t stop walking, yet my eyes are locked on the free food staring me in the face.
I spotted my friend, Camille, inside, who shared my affinity for food and who I went to church with. I proceeded to tell her the angst that I was experiencing, that free hot dogs were available but I was fasting, and how unjust was that? And who would have thought? But she didn’t feel what I was saying. I remember her eyes getting wide, her smile being kind but her words being few.
So I said half-heartedly, “Maybe God is telling me something.”
It’s hard to take this seriously, but keep reading.
Getting It
God showed me in that moment of natural hunger, where I almost turned down the opportunity to hear from the Him, that feeding the natural at the expense of the things of God can cause me to miss out on something valuable that he wants me to understand. Jeremiah 33: 2-3 says, “‘Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.’ When I’m engaging in the natural–putting on makeup, driving a car, eating a bowl of cereal–it’s harder to listen.
It took a few hours for all of this to sink in, and it wasn’t until several months later as I was packing up to leave Pullman, Wash. that my pastor shared this same principle in a more direct way. She said, “Don’t trade your spiritual dreams for your natural dreams.”
For the next several months, the Lord showed me areas that seemed like a great idea in the natural sense but for the spirit would not have any benefit. Even ideas that seemed insane in the natural were vital in the spiritual. And during the period prior to and soon after graduation, there was a definite peace and a quiet that told me if it didn’t make sense naturally then spiritually it probably will.
I now live in Boise, the town I grew up in. That didn’t make sense naturally–my plan was New York–but spiritually it has made all the difference.
I wanted to go right through the front door–no, I wanted the door man to open the front door for me– to enter into every desire I had for life after college, but instead God took me to the back door. Through the alley, past the gate, into the back and around the kitchen.
I think God would value the process much more. Jeremiah 29:11 promises that he has a plan not to harm but to give us a future and a hope, but it also promises more in the following verses, “Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD…”
Now, two years later, the Lord is using this one day in my life to speak to me again. I’m once again in the job status of “looking for work”. Really. In this economy, during the holidays. And you know what, the thing about the last six months of working for a non profit organization and cutting back on everything natural–budget, traveling, selfish ambition– free hot dogs came back to me and I decided I finally need to publish it (the original draft date on this is April 14, 2009. How life has changed!).
And, just so you know, that free hot dog stand showed up again on campus later in the Spring. Yeah, it tasted pretty good.
